Tuesday, August 31, 2010

brushstroke

Like a canvas waiting to be painted, with the painter staring at the ticking clock, worried about running out of time, but ever anxious to pick up the paintbrush again. Unsure how. Unsure of the means, but ready for the painting to begin. Masterpiece detail or jackson polluck freedom, it did not matter. Created to paint. But didn't know how.
Thus is the state I am in.
Always in a waiting state, going all the while, and always glancing at the clock.
The quiet is coveted. The noise is everywhere, and the art is untouched. Such is life.
But I can't help but think, there must be another option. And I wonder how. where. and when will I grasp and not come up empty-handed. And I realize I'm not talking about painting anymore.


Friday, August 20, 2010

gelato


Who knew that gelato could have such an effect on a person? Tonight as I was walking through the mall, I walked by a little gelato stand and scanned the titles to see if there was stratiacello, my favorite flavor in Europe. It is similar to cookies and cream, but much richer. Suddenly, and deeply, I had a pang of..."travel sickness"....? I missed Italy. I missed Spain. I missed the many times we ate the deliciously creamy gelato and also just strolling down the streets passing gelato cafes down every turn and twist. I missed everything about my trip. The sitting and soaking in. The running around from place to place. The observing and drinking in of experience. The wonderful people we met. The ones I fell in love with. And the ones who might not have been lovable but were still memorable. And now I'm back home. And I don't know what to do with that. I don't know how to quench my restlessness. Maybe I need to sit a while longer and process. My dad said its like I'm thirsty and trying to drink out of a fire hydrant. From California to Pennsylvania to London and the Mediterranean, this has been a summer of wandering, and I have fallen in love with adventure and beauty in landscapes and roadtrips and new places. And that gelato was a reminder of everything, and I miss it so deeply.